20 Comments

Jaime,

This was such a powerful reflection— and beautiful 1st podcast! Thank you for showing up just as you are and for sharing your heart with us. I’m so glad you’ve had a beautiful month off with your family and community.

What stood out most to me is your point about control: We’re not in control of everything, and it’s how we meet the things we can’t control that makes all the difference. That truth hits deep because it’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking we can fix, prevent, or force our way through life’s chaos. But it’s in the meeting—with grace, faith, resilience, and sometimes just sheer grit—that we find our strength.

Your insights on prioritizing family, leaning into community, and accepting the messy beauty of life— YES! 🙌 There’s a quiet courage in choosing to be present, in admitting you don’t have all the answers, and in showing up—scruffy or not—to love, serve, and grow.

I also loved your reminder that community isn’t just about proximity; it’s about love in action. What a beautiful way to frame it. Moments like your washer story are the ones that warm our hearts—they remind us of our shared humanity and how much we truly need each other.

I was just talking to Becky about how we were never meant to raise our kids alone. Single mothers without support including from other women, really struggle. It takes a village and oh how I wished we lived in each other’s village and she responded, “If we were meant to do it alone, it wouldn’t take two to make one.” And I laughed, agreed and she followed up with something like we still have each other in all the other ways and how instrumental we each were to each other in getting through the year with our sanity, businesses, and everything in between. We are still a village. And she was right. Our village spans thousands of miles and that’s our support system. We make do with what God gives us and we receive it in gratitude. Sometimes what we want doesn’t come in the exact packages we envision but we still end up getting what we need. We just need to recognize our blessings more creatively.

So here’s to your intention for 2025—more balance, more connection, and a whole lot of showing up for the people and things that truly matter. I’m grateful to be part of this space where these conversations happen. Big hugs.

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I think I should apologize to you.

....I look forward to what you and Becky say about things, because like myself, we tend to express ourselves in 'long form' and I truly enjoy that.

It's like being spoiled.

"Oh my, they CARE about me....cause look at the novel they wrote!"

[giggle]

Yeah, about that village....that's why my wife and I HAD one.

I've been mocked and teased over the years for the size of my family, but that's never been the true issue that people miss.

...I have a large family that LOVES each other.

That's exceedingly rare.

So that 'village' is all family, both blood and by choice. Raised to support and respect one another, with the love embedded so deep, there are no holes.

When there is a need, the natural flow of our family fills it. Whether that be from mom, dad, sibling, or grandchild.

...because we want to.

It is WHAT WE DO.

It is WHO WE ARE.

But that leads back to our talk last year, about the definition of family, and that 'The blood of the covenant is strong than the water of the womb.'

You get to CHOOSE family. Blood or not. That's why there is adoption.

100% valid.

Wisest statement this year so far is, "We make do with what God gives us and we receive it in gratitude.:

That is KEY.

Now if I can get Becky to respond, my week will be epic.

....looking forward to diving into bth your substacks =)

Love you, Kristie. Thank you for the comment...tell Jules and Lucas I said hi!!

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Jaime,

No apology needed for a long response!—EVER. Your long-form reflections are a gift to me too, and honestly, they always feel like a warm conversation shared over a good cup of tea. The way you describe your family—how love flows so naturally, so intentionally, through every generation—is something deeply special. It’s the reason we love movies like “Cheaper by the Dozen” or why Latinos in their homelands often have so many children. We understand the value of building a strong community and how that community will show up for each other when any member is down.

I grew up surrounded by siblings, cousins, and family—the only problem was that the creators of that family were not capable of doing what you and your loving wife have done so beautifully: “Raised to support and respect one another, with the love embedded so deep, there are no holes.” The patriarch in our family was an alcoholic, abusive to the matriarch, and that pain spilled into their children through violence, neglect, and addiction. That same pain seeped into the grandchildren—us. Our family was doomed from generations past.

But I’ve started again. It’s taken me a long time to free myself from the tangled, cursed web of trauma and faulty beliefs. Raising my two free from those shackles of destruction has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done—but also the most worthwhile. I’m finally in a place that feels completely free from anyone who could threaten our safety. It’s true freedom, and my deepest prayer is that my kids will never know that life.

I had to teach them concepts I was never taught: support, respect, and unconditional love. And let’s be honest, you can’t teach what you’ve never been taught. My compass was always: don’t teach anything they taught. But that was hard, too, because in my experience, even the baby in that bathwater was part of the problem.

Long story short, I’ve done—and continue to do—the hard work to end the dysfunction with me. My intuition, my inner knowing, has been my guide, and it’s never let me down. I’m not a perfect mother, but I know my kids have good hearts. They’re a bit spoiled, sure, but they’re loving, happy souls. They know they’re loved. They know they have a support system. And most importantly, they know they don’t have to earn any of it—it’s here, freely flowing.

One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned is that healing isn’t linear. It’s messy, it’s painful, and sometimes it feels like two steps forward, one step back. But every time I see my kids laugh freely, every time they come to me with their worries without fear, every time they just know they’re safe—I’m reminded why I keep doing the work.

Thank you for sharing your heart, Jaime. Your words reminded me of the ‘why’ behind so much of my own journey and the words just started flowing. And yes, we talked about this and how Family—whether by blood or by choice—isn’t just about being there, it’s about how we show up for each other. You’re an exemplary—a role model for how to show up beautifully. They may have teased and mocked you, but it was only because they lacked what you have. And spoiler alert: most of the country lacks it too.

Sending love to you and your village. ❤️ Now, @beckywebster … chime in and make this wonderful man’s week epic!

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"The patriarch in our family was an alcoholic, abusive to the matriarch, and that pain spilled into their children through violence, neglect, and addiction. That same pain seeped into the grandchildren—us. Our family was doomed from generations past."

Always hurts to hear that. I hear it often.

I had and have a wonderful example in my father. I learned to love my wife with all my soul from watching my dad love my mom. To hear my mothers sweet praise and adoration of my dad cemented my respect for my father.

When I feared or doubted, because life got 'hard' for our family, my mom would smile...that perfect...kind...infinite smile only a mom and loving wife can produce.

"It will be okay, sweetie. Your father can do ANYthing. If he sets his mind to it, it will happen. God is with him."

God is with him?

How often do you hear that?

Gosh I miss my mom.

Still trying to become HALF of what I see my father as...and I'll keep striving...but one thing that has been lacking, IMO, from lives is truth.

Truth is more important than anything else...and it's the foundation of my own family. You do what is right, beCAUSE IT IS RIGHT. Not because it's easy, convenient, or because you're seen, get credit, you are agreed with or even loved.

You do it, because it's the right thing to do.

Let the rest happen.

That, I believe, builds the character for all else to flow.

You will 'win' the hearts and confidence of those around you when they know your character will always turn to do what is right. Then let your love shine through that truth and extend the hand of true friendship...and you can save the world.

Crazy, maybe.

...but I'd like to try anyway.

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I can feel the deep respect and love you have for your parents in every line of your description of them. The image of your mother’s smile and her unwavering faith in your father is so powerful—it’s a kind of love and trust that feels sacred, almost untouchable. Something I wished would have existed in my relationships. I wish I would have had the kind of trust in a partner that could have led our family so that I could stand strong in my role as a mother and wife without having to do both.

I learned to be the leader, provider, and protector while also being the supporter, nurturer, and multiplier. It was a replication of the generation before me. We do what we were taught, and even when we logically talk ourselves out of repeating those patterns, subconsciously we gravitate toward what feels familiar. Change requires deep uprooting of faulty beliefs and a willingness to face the uncomfortable truths within ourselves.

Your father sounds like an incredible man—someone who not only carried the weight of responsibility but did it with faith and integrity. And from what I’ve seen in your words and actions, you’re walking that same path. You’ve taken the lessons he passed down and are living them out with the same strength and honor.

I deeply admire your commitment to truth. You’re absolutely right—it’s the foundation of everything. Doing what’s right, not because it’s easy or because anyone’s watching, but simply because it’s right. That’s something I’ve instilled in my own children as well. Integrity and truth are, in my eyes, the most important and fundamental qualities a person can have. They’re not always easy to live out, and they’re rarely convenient, but they’re what build character, confidence, and genuine love and respect from those around you.

Your belief that love, truth, and integrity can ‘save the world’ isn’t crazy—it’s rare and beautiful. It’s what I hold dear to my heart and value most. If more people held onto that conviction, imagine how different things would be in this world.

Oh, and my humble opinion may not carry much weight, but I think you’re doing an incredible job at carrying your father’s legacy forward. 😉

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I think that's yet another reason we are kindred, dear one.

...and as long as you are alive, there is time to find or to be found by such a companion.

Just my belief, but it is a conviction.

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Oh and they say Hi 👋🏼 back!

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HUGS!!

Hope you're feeling better, Jules!!!

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Kristie,

I have to tell you, reading your words felt like sitting by a warm fire with a good cup of something strong and sweet—comforting, grounding, and filled with hope.

Your reflections are the kind of thing that stick with a person, making them pause, nod, and maybe even mutter, "Well, Mahan’s pink panties, that’s exactly what I needed to hear."

You hit the nail on the head about control.

Life has a way of reminding us we’re not the ones steering the whole ship, no matter how much we tighten our grip.

But it’s in how we meet the storms, as you said, that we find our footing—and sometimes even a little grace.

You’ve got a knack for putting life’s messy truths into words that make sense and leave the reader a little braver for having read them.

Now, about your village—and Becky’s reminder that it takes two to make one? That’s the kind of truth that’d make Wendell pause mid-sandwich to smile.

(And you know how much that boy loves his sandwiches.)

Whether our villages are big, small, close, or stretched across miles, it’s the heart that makes them work. And your heart? It’s gold, Kristie.

Speaking of hearts—and since we’re on the topic of families—can I just say how proud I am of Jules and Lucas? I hear they’re fans of the Wanted Hero comics and Wendell’s adventures, and let me tell you, that makes my old bones downright giddy. Those two are sharp, kind, and clearly have impeccable taste (though I may be biased).

Jules, Jaime tells me you’ve got a spark that lights up every room you step into, and Lucas, your curiosity and courage remind me of Wendell himself. Keep dreaming big, both of you—you’re going to make this world better just by being in it.

Big hugs right back at you, Kristie.

You’ve got an incredible family, and I’m honored to know all of you are part of this space. Here’s to a 2025 filled with balance, joy, and plenty of unexpected blessings in creative packages.

With gratitude and a grin,

Chuck

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Chuck,

Your words made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside while also chuckling out loud—COL 🤭 (Mahan’s pink panties—I mean, come on!). 😆

You’re absolutely right about control. But you also reminded me that grace often shows up in those moments of surrender, and that’s an observation I’ll tuck away for when the next storm rolls in. Thanks.

And Wendell pausing mid-sandwich? Ha!I could see him now. 😊

You’re spot on—it’s not about the size of the village or the distance between its members; it’s about the heart that keeps it all connected. Thank you for seeing that heart in mine—it means more than I can say.

Now, about Jules and Lucas—you absolutely made my day. You’ve captured them both so beautifully. Jules does light up every room she steps into, and Lucas? That boy’s curiosity and courage run deep. Sometimes I wish he’d be a little less courageous so we wouldn’t have to tend to the wounds of his battles so often. 😂 But I guess that’s a mother’s perspective. His father would be proud. And to hear them compared to Wendell feels like such a gift (and yes, they’re both big fans of his adventures!).

Thank you for your time, kindness, humor, and wisdom.

With gratitude and a big smile,

Kristie

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Kristie,

Thank you for your kind words—reading your reply felt like a hug wrapped in sunshine (and maybe a bit of well-timed laughter). 😊

I’ve got to say, Lucas sounds like a chip off the old Wendell block—courageous to a fault, with a touch of wild determination. Just tell him Wendell recommends padding—makes all those tumbles a little easier to manage!

And Jules? What a treasure she must be, spreading warmth and light wherever she goes. You’ve clearly done an incredible job raising them both, and it’s a joy to hear about them.

You and your family remind me that it’s the heart that holds a village together, no matter the distance.

And Kristie, your heart shines. You’ve got a strength and grace that make the world brighter for everyone lucky enough to be in your orbit.

Here’s to more laughter, adventure, and moments of grace in the coming year. You’ve made my day with your reply, and I’m grateful to know you’re part of this journey.

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What a great kick-off to 2025! I'm happy for you and it's great to be part of your positive, online world. And you are welcome for the mouse. I forgot I did that, but really like what you put out there, as it brightens my day, and I wanted to give you something. Subscribing is great but I really like that you have that online list of things you need. It's wonderful to send someone something they need. Keep that list updated! (And it's okay to add some things you want.) :)

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I have NOT forgotten.

That timing was a true miracle, Ann. It made my jaw drop in the moment.

...I sat there and laughed.

And laughed.

For a while I thought you were a mind reader, LOL.

Thank you again, you lovely girl. =)

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Aaaw... so sweet!

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Well, Ann, if that ain’t one of the kindest things I’ve seen someone say, I don’t know what is.

It’s folks like you who make the world a little brighter for the rest of us.

You didn’t just give Jaime a mouse—you gave him the encouragement to keep going, one scroll and click at a time.

That’s no small thing, my friend.

And I agree with you about the list! You know, Old Lady Kravitz once made a list of "things she needed" and ended up with a goat, a shovel, and 13 jars of pickled peaches.

Let’s just say, PROPER lists matter. Jaime’s got a knack for keeping things practical, though, so no worries there.

Thanks for being a bright light in his world—and in ours. People like you remind me why I stick around this crazy existence.

Keep being your wonderful self, Ann. 😊

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Wow! You made my day. 😊 Thank you for the kind words, Chuck, and right back attacha! Hope you have a great week!

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Ann, you just made this old mägo’s week, so we’re even! 😊 Keep being your wonderful self, and may your week be as fantastic as you are. Cheers!

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Wendell for sure

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Hey Craig,

I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how much I admire your perseverance. Life can throw some pretty wild curveballs, and I know you’re dealing with more than most—balancing work, kids, and everything else that’s on your plate. But let me tell you, my friend, you’re doing amazing.

It’s not easy, I know. The weight of it all can get heavy, and the days can blur together, but trust me, you’re making a difference. Every little thing you do—whether it's for your kids, your work, or even just finding time to breathe—is important. You’re a rock to those around you, even when you don’t feel like it.

And just in case you don’t hear it enough: You matter. You are appreciated. You’re not alone in this. Sometimes the small victories, like getting through the day or finding a little joy in the chaos, are the ones that matter most.

I’m proud of you, Craig. Keep pushing forward. And don’t forget to give yourself some grace along the way. You deserve it.

You’ve got this. Always.

—Chuck

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This is going to be a great year, buddy.

...hope to spend more time together and play some games!

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